Doesn't know why he's here. Scratches his beard. His vaguely Russian beard. As he scratches he slowly recollects his last memory: walking home from work. Here, he notices that he is wearing the uniform of an Intergalactic Repo Man. (IRM)
He passes the time in his cell by meeting his half-frog roommate, Markus. Markus Washington Markus. Who can't tell him jack shit except that Space Jail is where the most despicable crimes in the universe are held for the worst crimes.
One day, Vlad's in the cafeteria when all these rough and tumble dudes roll the fuck in to initiate hazing and take all of Vlad's cool uh....stuff. And beat him up. Whatever. Invent your own inventory of details.
Enter our triple-boobed, half-octopus heroine, Cassidy D' Rubhee. She kicks some ass half-octopus style. After the dust settles (proverbially, please don't draw dust settling), Cassidy reveals that all of the inmates are individuals who are being repressed by Intergalactic Space Government.
Before Vlad can inquire what their crimes are, guards begin pouring in to break up the hazing. Cassidy grabs Vlad and they run, as the guards descend upon the other inmates with lethal and unnecessary force.
Seeing his fellow inmates's position, Vlad takes Cassidy's words for truth. He employs slowly-remembered repo-skills to steal and salvage weapons from the guards.
After that they pick a D-Day where huge battle takes place between the guards and everyone in space jaila dn all of the criminals in space jail easily overtake the guards.
After all the guards die, they take the escape pods on the space station..AND RIGHT AS THEY GET IN..
Space Babe shoots Vlad!
His name was turned in by the others in space jail in order to obtain his awesome repo skills! SHIT'S REAL.
AS Vlad is laying on the ground with a hole in his chest, half dead, and the criminals are escaping in their pods, Markus gives one last forlorn look at Vladimir (and it's a very meaningful look), because he feels regret because he was Vlad's bff...
SETUP FOR SPACE JAIL 2
-Half frog, half bear (Markus always be wearin' gloves)
-SQUID TENTACLES, squid beak with smeary lipstick, longer tents = hair, interpret rest as you will. Fact that she's a squid makes the "octopussy" even more derogatory..! (P.S. SHE IS NOT BLUE)
-Just keep vladimir consistent!
-A single alien sex scene. Just one. Make it count.
-Space jail uniform (ONE SIZE FITS ALL)
-Uniforms can constrain dangerous parts of species; example: scorpion people have shielded tails, etc etc etc. (They are the color BLUE, like a light blue, sky blue.)
-Bathrooms for all sorts of species..whoah.
-Markus suffers some insecurity issues; a little upset about his inability to make his only buddy Vlad as happy as Space Babe does. ): Not jealous just...sad.
-Final scene: nameless(so far) character who sweats toxic gas rips off his uniform, and it's a big deal cuz like..shit's crazy, and then he sweats on the guards.
-Repo suit (he keeps this on because the head aliens believe that his suit is his skin because they've never dealt with humans before) saves Vlad when he gets shot!!! Little does Space Babe know that his badge beneath his uniform prevents the blast from totally killing him! (ending: close up of repo badge singed...TSHHHH!!)
Beginning: Vlad wakes up, intro Markus Washington Marcus
Rising Action: Meets Space Babe (battle here, too.) (2)
(somewhere in here a date funtage...or whatever you want. but definitely to show that Vlad+Babe "fall in love")
Anti-Climax: Vlad repo-ing the weapons. (sex upon getting them!)
Climax: BATTLE!!! (2)
Resolution: Escapes, gets shot.